Pasangan yang Berciuman pada Pagi Hari Lebih Sukses

Jika Anda ingin bahagia, sehat, sukses, dan hidup lebih lama, maka berikan pasangan Anda ciuman sebelum pergi untuk bekerja setiap hari. Itulah kesimpulan dari sebuah penelitian yang dilakukan oleh sekelompok dokter Jerman dan psikolog, bekerja sama dengan perusahaan asuransi.

Menurut dr Arthur Sazbo, penelitian ini mengungkapkan bahwa mereka yang mencium pasangannya, pagi sebelum berangkat kerja, terhindar dari penyakit ringan sehingga berdampak pada rendahnya kuantitas absen kerja. Kemudian, potensi mereka mengalami kecelakaan saat perjalanan menuju ke kantor pun terbilang rendah.

Yang lebih mengejutkan, peluang mereka memperoleh penghasilan yang besar, 20 sampai 30 persen lebih tinggi, dibandingkan mereka yang tidak mencium pasangannya sebelum berangkat kerja. Mereka juga hidup lima tahun lebih lama dari orang yang bahkan tidak memberikan kecupan di pipi pada pasangannya.

Menurut dr Sazbo, ciuman pada pagi hari merupakan awal yang positif untuk memulai aktivitas seharian penuh. Ciuman menandakan kasih, dukungan, dan keikhlasan. Tiga hal ini dapat melahirkan rasa optimis dan percaya diri dalam diri seseorang.

Sebaliknya, mereka yang tidak pernah mencium pasangannya kala sang surya menyingsing mayoritas berangkat kerja dengan perasaan tidak tenang dan tidak benar pada diri mereka sendiri.

Apakah Anda percaya atau tidak pada hasil penelitian ini, hal tersebut menjadi pilihan masing-masing. Namun, tak ada yang salah dengan memberikan kecupan sayang kepada pasangan pada pagi hari. Setidaknya lewat ciuman pagi, Anda telah membuat pasangan merasa dicintai. Jadi, kenapa tidak?

http://female.kompas.com

Ibu yang Terlalu Cerewet Bisa Bikin Putrinya Minder dengan Berat Badannya

Hal yang lumrah jika ibu kerap memperhatikan anaknya, terutama saat putrinya sudah beranjak dewasa. Namun, ibu yang terlalu cerewet dengan sering mengkritik dan terlibat dalam kehidupan putrinya cenderung membuat si anak memiliki gangguan makan dan perilaku sosial yang buruk.

Menurut studi terbaru, gangguan makan yang terjadi lebih mengarah pada ketidakpuasan tubuh dan keyakinan serta praktik mengontrol berat badan yang tidak sehat. Hal ini sering terjadi di kalangan wanita di Amerika Serikat.

Peneliti melibatkan 286 mahasiswi dengan rata-rata usia 21 tahun. Ibu dan saudara mereka yang lebih tua juga diminta untuk mengisi kuisioner online. Sementara itu, penelitian juga menunjukkan bahwa dinamika keluarga seperti konflik dan kontrol bisa mempengaruhi emosi dan kesejahteraan sosial para perempuan muda.

Tapi, ibu yang terlalu ikut campur dan kritis berhubungan langsung dengan terjadinya masalah perilaku sosial dan gangguan makan pada anaknya. Penelitian ini diterbitkan secara online tanggal 18 September di jurnal Communication Monographs.

"Terlihat bahwa bentuk komunikasi korosif dalam keluarga sangat merusak pandangan individu terhadap dirinya sendiri dan juga kesejahteraannya. Karena hal ini mempromosikan perjuangan mereka untuk mengontrol dan meningkatkan dirinya," jelas penulis utama studi, Analisa Arroyo, asisten profesor komunikasi di University of Georgia, Athena.

Ia menambahkan, gangguan makan bisa berkembang sebagai teknik kompensasi untuk berurusan dengan ketidakmampuan sosial dan emosi yang negatif. Dalam penelitian itu disebutkan bahwa orang tua adalah pengaruh utama dalam pengembangan konsep diri serta keterampilan sosial anak-anak mereka.

Dikutip dari HealthDay, Kamis (3/10/2013), Arroyo menyimpulkan, "Jika orang tua fokus pada hubungan yang sehat antara orang tua dan anak serta mengajarkan anak-anak mereka keterampilan komunikasi yang efektif, kompetensi sosial tersebut justru bisa berfungsi melindungi berkembangnya tekanan psikologis dan gangguan makan."

http://health.detik.com

Ingin Punya Bayi Laki-laki atau Perempuan? Ini Tips 'Mendapatkannya'

Segala sesuatu memang ditentukan oleh kehendak Tuhan, salah satunya jenis kelamin bayi. Tapi, tak ada salahnya bukan jika sebagai manusia, kita juga berusaha untuk memperbesar peluang mendapatkan buah hati yang jenis kelaminnya sesuai keiginan?

Nah, menurut dokter spesialis andrologi, dr Nugroho Setiawan, MS, SpAnd, ada beberapa cara yang bisa dilakukan suami istri untuk memperbesar peluangnya memiliki bayi dengan jenis kelamin yang diinginkannya.

dr Nugroho menjelaskan jenis kelamin bayi yang dikandung pada dasarnya tergantung dari sperma mana yang membuahi sel telur karena sperma mengandung kromosom X dan Y. Sperma X sifatnya lebih tahan asam, bisa hidup sampai tiga hari, dan kecepatan berjalannya lambat. Sedangkan sperma Y tidak terlalu tahan asam, waktu hidupnya relatif pendek yakni hanya satu hari, dan kecepatan berjalannya cepat.

Memperbesar peluang memiliki momongan dengan jenis kelamin yang diinginkan, jika melalui inseminasi kemungkinan keberhasilannya mencapai 80 persen. Sedangkan melalui edukasi pada pasangan kemungkinan keberhasilannya sekitar enam puluh persen.

Nah, jika ingin memperbesar peluang mendapatkan bayi laki-laki, pasangan bisa berhubungan intim saat si wanita berada pada masa subur. Sedangkan jika ingin memiliki bayi perempuan maka hubungan bisa dilakukan pada waktu dua atau tiga hari sebelum wanita memasuki masa suburnya.

"Kalau pas masa subur, yang jalannya cepat itu kan yang Y berarti memperbesar peluang anak laki-laki. Kalau dua atau tiga hari sebelum masa subur, kemungkinan besar jadinya anak perempuan karena yang bisa bertahan hidup lebih lama yang X," jelas dr Nugroho kepada detikHealth, saat ditemui di RSUP Fatmawati, Jakarta Selatan, dan ditulis pada Selasa (8/10/2013).

Cara lain yang bisa dilakukan yakni mengatur kedalaman penetrasi penis. Jika ingin memperbesar peluang mendapat bayi perempuan, maka jangan melakukan penetrasi terlalu dalam supaya sperma X-lah yang lebih lama bertahan di dalam vagina hingga akhirnya bisa bertemu sel telur. Sebab, sperma Y akan lebih dulu gugur karena ia tidak bisa bertahan lama di vagina.

"Sebaliknya kalau untuk anak laki-laki, lakukan penetrasi yang dalam sehingga sperma Y yang kecepatan berjalannya cepat, dia bisa segera bertemu dengan sel telur," kata dr Nugroho.

Pria kelahiran Yogyakarta 57 tahun lalu ini juga menambahkan, agar jenis kelamin momongan sesuai yang diinginkan, bisa juga digunakan teori asam basa. "Dulu itu perempuan banyak makan daging sehingga vaginanya dalam kondisi basa dan itu meningkatkan peluang mendapat anak laki-laki, sedangkan kalau makan permen atau yang mengandung gula gitu yang manis-manis, kondisi vaginanya asam dan itu untuk meningkatkan peluang mendapatkan anak perempuan. Tapi, sekarang teori itu mulai ditinggalkan," papar dr Nugroho.

http://health.detik.com

Through All the Seasons. . . God Is Loving and Powerful

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 — Why has this passage endured the ages as one of the oldest philosophical poems in our literary canon? It’s certainly among the most pensive passages of God’s Word, a beautiful meditation that casts a near-hypnotic spell over readers of any generation.

The author was the wisest and wealthiest man who ever lived, and this book is a chronicle of his lifelong quest for true happiness and joy. Solomon tried wealth, wisdom, work, and wild living. At the end of his wide-ranging experiments, he concluded that everything was an empty exercise in vanity. It was like trying to capture the wind in his hands.

As we come to the third chapter, we find Solomon facing an even bigger challenge, a “problem with God.”

I know all about the “problem with God.”

I would not have chosen cancer as a path to spiritual growth, nor would I wish such fear and pain on anyone. On the other hand, I do not see my illness as a random event, some miscellaneous accident of health. And I do not believe there was a moment when God was absent from the physical, emotional, and spiritual crisis I endured.

In fact, I found Him everywhere during that time. I found Him as never before. I glimpsed His face among the doctors and nurses who cared for me so skillfully. I saw Him there in shining power among the family of my church, and intimately among the family circle of my wife and children. He met me in the private chapel of my soul, where with each passing day I felt deeper in His grace and comfort. I found my Lord more present and more powerful.

Knowing there must be pain and suffering for us all, I dearly wish everyone could travel the road I did. I wish every human soul could see the face of God in the fear and turmoil. 

So many walk a very different path; they experience only His absence.

Rabbi Harold Kushner, the author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People, when his own three-year-old son contracted a rare disease that took his life at a young age, penned his conclusions about God and suffering in order to provide answers to others in similar circumstances.

Kushner’s conclusion was a popularization of an ancient theological conundrum:

How can God be both perfectly good and perfectly powerful? The suffering in the world suggests that if He is God, He is not good; or that if He is good, He is not God. In other words, there must be something lacking in either His love or His strength, or He would cure every little pain.

Rabbi Kushner worked through the old enigma. He concluded that God is all-loving but not all-powerful. He cares deeply about the people He created, but after creating the world He backed away and allowed it to run without His interference.

Solomon had a different view entirely. He concludes that God is sovereign and in control, regardless of the imponderables that remain. Solomon sees God as being present with us but not helpful enough. The king wants to know why God does not improve the standard of life, do something about the aging process, show more favoritism to His children, and perhaps discontinue the program of human pain.

In his poem, there are fourteen negative statements and fourteen positive ones, and they fall into three separate categories. The first describes the influence of time on our bodies, the second focuses on our souls, and the last deals with our spirits.

And Solomon’s main thought? Well, it doesn’t take a Hebrew scholar to notice that the word time occurs twenty-nine times in these verses.

Time and Your Physical Life

To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born, And a time to die;

A time to plant,

And a time to pluck what is planted;

A time to kill,

And a time to heal;

A time to break down,

And a time to build up.

Solomon begins his contemplation with a sobering observation: birth and death both have their appointed times.

When my grandson, Ryland, was born, I flew to Baltimore for the event. As I peered through the nursery window at this beautiful new citizen of the world, it struck me that only a corridor away, some other citizen was being dispatched. Some family had gathered for the agony of farewell. It is not a lengthy walk between the nursery and the intensive care unit. We spend our own time making that trek between entrance and exit, womb and tomb.

Meanwhile, there is a time to plant and a time to harvest. Solomon refers to the food supply because he knows that God sets the boundaries of the seasons. God has built certain rhythms into His world. The steady repetition of the seasons provides comfort and a workable cadence to life.

We are a bit discomforted to read that there is a time to kill as well as a time to heal. Yet our bodies are in the process of dying every moment. Scientists tell us that every seven years we replenish all the cells within our bodies. There is an ongoing maintenance department in the human machine that is constantly changing out the old for the new. And it is governed by time.

Cancer cells, infection cells, or simply worn-out cells must be killed — so even killing has its time, and we are grateful. There must be a time to kill so we might also have a time to heal.

And what of “a time to break down, and a time to build up”? We build up in our early years, and we start breaking down as we get older — painful but true. How old is old? I was enjoying a birthday when David Todd, my six-year-old grandson, crunched the numbers on my age. He said, “If Poppy was a dog’s age, he’d be dead!” He was right.

There is a time for breaking down, but God is there. He is as powerful as He is loving, and you have the opportunity to experience His power all the more effectively and vividly when you turn to Him in the breakdowns of life.

Time and Your Emotional Life

A time to weep,

And a time to laugh;

A time to mourn,

And a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones,

And a time to gather stones; A time to embrace,

And a time to refrain from embracing.

Time is also involved with the operations of the soul, the seat of human emotions. There’s a time to cry, when tears flow freely; there are also times for laughter. Hopefully, the latter outnumber the former, yet tears are a part of life. The Bible says, “Jesus wept... He groaned in the spirit and was troubled” (John 11:35, 33). Job states, “My eyes pour out tears to God” (Job 16:20). The psalmist asks God to store his tears in a heavenly bottle, for they are precious (Psalm 56:8). And Psalm 126:5 promises, “Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.”

Your tears are God’s jewels; they are precious to Him. The greater your suffering, the greater His ministry and grace for you.

There is a time to mourn and a time to dance. There is a time to hug, and there are times when hugging is inappropriate. God has given us a wide spectrum of emotions, and sometimes we feel we are at the mercy of our anger or depression or grief. It helps to know that each emotion is simply playing the part allotted to its own special time. We need our full spectrum of God-given emotions, for they are the emblems of our humanity. They mark us as children of a God who also has anger, grief, and laughter.

Time and Your Spiritual Life

A time to gain,

And a time to lose;

A time to keep,

And a time to throw away;

A time to tear,

And a time to sew;

A time to keep silence,

And a time to speak;

A time to love,

And a time to hate;

A time of war,

And a time of peace.

The last three verses have to do with inner decisions — the deep commitments of our lives. Sometimes we gain; sometimes we lose — money, weight, hair, loved ones, privileges, rights, responsibilities, joys, possessions. We collect and we throw away.

Unfortunately, at the personal level we seem far more interested in accumulating than in throwing away. We need to recognize the spiritual value of both, that there is a time and a season to get rid of stuff.

Solomon knew there was a “time to keep silence, and a time to speak.” The father in Proverbs continually admonishes his children to pay attention to words of wisdom and instruction, but he also warns against talking too much and becoming ensnared by one’s own words. There is no greater wisdom than knowing the seasons of the tongue — when it is time to speak and when it is time to keep silent.

There is a time for love and even a time to hate. A time to hate? Yes, of course. Even Jesus hated. He hated sin. He hated its mastery over human souls. He hated the wake of its destruction.

We need to learn how to hate that which is evil without hating the people who are evil.

The passage ends by reminding us that while we all long for a peaceful world, there is even a time when war is morally necessary. “A time of war, and a time of peace”.

Peter Muhlenberg was an Anglican pastor in Virginia. In 1774, he was elected to the Virginia legislature and was present at St. John’s Church in Richmond when Patrick Henry proclaimed, “Give me liberty or give me death!” Peter was so moved that he promptly joined George Washington’s army.

He recruited other men in his church, and they became known as the German Regiment under his command. It’s because of men like Peter Muhlenberg that America has been the home of the brave and the land of the free for more than two hundred years.

Everything has its appointed time from God. He is sovereign, but He is always faithful.

Through all the seasons of life, through all the undulating circumstances of the passing years, God remains both loving and powerful.

by David Jeremiah, from his new book, 31 Days to Happiness

Petik 7 Pelajaran Hidup dari Anak Balita

Orangtua memang dianggap menjadi panutan dan guru utama bagi anak-anaknya. Meski demikian, sebenarnya cukup banyak pelajaran penting yang bisa kita ambil dari si kecil.

Simak pengalaman Lauren Jimeson, penulis, dan putrinya Avery. Lauren mengatakan, dari interaksinya sehari-hari dengan sang putri, ia memetik beberapa pelajaran berharga.

1. Sesekali kita harus berteriak keras dan melepaskan semua beban.
Pada usia balita anak memang suka berteriak kencang-kencang, tapi kemudian mereka mendapatkan mood-nya kembali. Sebagai orang dewasa kita merasa malu untuk melakukan hal tersebut. Tapi terkadang kita mungkin perlu melakukannnya untuk melepaskan beban.

2. Bangun lebih pagi memberi manfaat lebih banyak.
Tanya pada ibu-ibu yang punya bayi dan balita, bangun pagi hari sudah menjadi rutinitas harian mereka. Meski sebenarnya kurang tidur, tapi mereka melakukannya atas dasar cinta pada si buah hati. Segala hal yang didasari oleh cinta memang membuat kita lebih bersemangat, sesulit apa pun harus dijalani.

3. Menangislah, tak masalah.
Menangis identik dengan dunia anak-anak. Karena itu kita sering mencibir orang dewasa yang masih suka menangis. Tak perlu takut dianggap cengeng, karena menangis sebenarnya merupakan bagian dari terapi pelepasan beban. Sesekali menangis akan membantu kita mendapatkan ketenangan sehingga mampu berpikir lebih jernih.

4. Tersenyum dan tertawalah.
Jiwa yang lugu dan polos membuat anak-anak gampang tertawa dan tersenyum. Terkadang gelak tawa anak membuat orang di sekelilingnya ikut tertawa. Kebahagiaan memang bisa menular, dan alangkah baiknya jika kita menjadi pembawa bahagia itu.

5. Berdandan.
Tampilan yang baik merupakan bagian dari cara kita menghargai diri sendiri dan orang lain. Salah satu keistimewaan ibu dan anak perempuan mereka adalah bisa berdandan bersama, bahkan memakai baju kembaran. Nikmati momen tersebut untuk merekatkan ikatan orangtua dan anak.

6. Fokus pada saat ini.
Dunia anak adalah dunia yang dialaminya saat ini. Tak ada rasa khawatir akan esok hari. Anda bisa belajar seperti mereka untuk menikmati setiap momen, benar-benar hadir pada saat ini dan melatih kesadaran diri sehingga hidup terasa lebih ringan.

7. Suka tantangan dan hal baru.
Lingkungan sekitar adalah taman bermain yang luas untuk anak, karenanya mereka senang mengeksplorasi berbagai hal dan itu memberikan mereka kebahagiaan. Hidup juga menjadi jauh dari membosankan.

sumber: http://female.kompas.com

Breathe Grace

Have you ever had someone you count on make a promise and then break it? How about a close friend who takes a deep secret that you shared in confidence and tells somebody else? Maybe you had someone who was entrusted to care for you but instead hurt you in one of the deepest ways imaginable by abusing you physically or sexually? A business partner gains your trust and then exploits it? How about an ex-spouse who took the love you had for one another and ruined it by cheating on you?

If you live long enough, chances are you’ll be hurt or betrayed by someone.

Betrayal is not just being hurt by somebody; it’s being hurt by someone you thought you could count on.

Betrayal is always a violation of trust and a breaking of a promise. It comes at the hand of a friend, spouse, coworker, or boss. And like a sucker punch, it always comes as a shock.

The crippling reality is that if we don’t do something with that hurt or betrayal, it will assault us every time it comes to our mind. It will keep us prisoner of our past because that hurt will impact everything we touch.

Some of you have somehow convinced yourself that you can manage the hurt from your past without offering forgiveness. In fact, maybe you even tell yourself that you can hardly remember the pain. But unfortunately, the pains we dare not remember are often the most dangerous pains of all. We fear these particular hurts so much that we stuff them deep into our heart and past. But they always come back. Usually disguised, but they always come back.

Bitterness contaminates everything. It doesn’t isolate to the source of bitterness; it spreads to all of your relationships. And left unchecked, it will ruin everything that is important to you.

Sometimes you don’t forgive someone for their sake; you do it for your own freedom.

I met Gerry and his wife, Brenda, several years ago at church. Gerry is quite a bit older than I am, but there was a certain kind of peace this man radiated that made me want to get to know him better.

I took them to lunch one day to hear their story and hung on to his every word over the next hour and a half. Gerry and Brenda had a baby girl and named her Annie, which meant “blessed by grace.” You can imagine how heartbroken they were when during Annie’s freshman year of college, her life began to unravel. Annie dropped out of college and was living with some friends over two hundred miles away from home. Eventually Gerry and Brenda discovered that their daughter’s problems were being fueled by a heavy drug addiction.

During her freshman year of college, Annie had gotten mixed up with the wrong group of people, mainly, a guy named Kyle. He introduced her to drugs, and the rest was downhill from there. She lived with Kyle in a drug-induced stupor for the next two years. There were weeks they would disappear and nobody would know where they were or hear from them. Brenda and Gerry spent many nights crying and praying, fearing that she was dead in some heroin house.

As Gerry recalled, “I blamed this guy. I had tried several times to drive up to Indiana to get her, to rescue her, but she would never come with me. I was convinced that Kyle was manipulating her. I was convinced that if it wasn’t for him my daughter would not be doing drugs and not be in the shape she was. For the first time in my life, I allowed my hatred to take me to a dark place.

I began daydreaming about how I could kill Kyle. I thought about how I would do it and how I would cover it up. I convinced myself it was the only thing I could do to get my daughter back. I planted a seed of hate in my heart that night, and the root of bitterness began to grow. It was fertilized daily by my thoughts of getting rid of Kyle.”

by Pete Wilson, from Let Hope In

Mengungkap 10 Mitos Kanker Payudara

Kanker payudara seperti penyakit yang menghantui wanita. Menurut data World Health Organization (WHO), penderita kanker payudara mencapai tujuh juta orang. Lima juta di antaranya meninggal dunia. Ia bisa dibilang ‘pembunuh’ kedua setelah kanker serviks.

Namun, simpang siurnya fakta tentang kanker payudara sering menyesatkan pemahaman wanita. Penyakit ini memang mengandung banyak mitos. Mengutip laman ABC News, berikut 10 mitos menyesatkan seputar kanker payudara.

Penyakit Genetik

Sebanyak 70 persen penderita kanker payudara tak memiliki faktor risiko berupa hubungan genetik. Namun, faktor keturunan memang ada. Jika kerabat tingkat pertama (orang tua atau saudara kandung) menderita kanker payudara, seseorang lebih berisiko dua kali lipat.

Bra Berkawat

Mengenakan bra berkawat tidak meningkatkan risiko kanker payudara. Tidak ada sistem limpatik yang termampatkan dan racun yang terkumpul menumpuk karena kawat pada bra.

Benjolan=Kanker

Tak usah panik jika menemukan benjolan di sekitar payudara. Itu tak selalu berarti kanker. Bisa saja benjolan itu berupa kista. Namun, memang lebih baik memeriksakan temuan benjolan pada dokter agar dilakukan pemeriksaan menyeluruh.

Implan Payudara

Jika ada yang menyebutkan implan payudara menyebabkan kanker, itu salah. Hanya saja, pemeriksaan mammogram standar memang tak terlalu mempan pada wanita dengan implan payudara. Jika menemukan benjolan, perlu diperiksa dengan tambahan sinar X.

Dipengaruhi Deodoran

Penggunaan antiperspirant deodorant tak berhubungan dengan kanker payudara. Namun tetap saja, penelitian lebih lanjut masih diperlukan. Pasalnya, antiperspirant terkadang menggunakan paraben, bahan yang berhubungan dengan hormon estrogen.

Ukuran Payudara

Kanker tak ada hubungannya dengan ukuran payudara. Bukan berarti ukuran payudara yang lebih kecil lantas tak berisiko. Hanya saja, kanker pada wanita yang berpayudara besar memang lebih sulit terdeteksi karena adanya timbunan lemak.

Kafein

Belum ada penelitian medis apakah kafein meningkatkan risiko kanker payudara. Sejauh ini, para ahli percaya tak ada hubungan antara dua hal itu.

Percaya Mammogram

Meskipun hasil pemeriksaan mammogram negatif, bukan berarti seseorang terlepas dari risiko kanker payudara. Penelitian membuktikan, mammogram punya kekeliruan 10-20 persen dalam mendeteksi kanker payudara. Maka, pemeriksaan klinis diperlukan.

Pelurus Rambut

Sebuah studi yang didanai National Cancer Institute pada tahun 2007 menemukan adanya peningkatan risiko kanker payudara pada pengguna pelurus rambut. Studi itu dilakukan pada wanita yang menggunakan pelurus rambut tujuh kali dalam setahun, selama 20 tahun atau lebih.

Aborsi

Aborsi dipercaya mengganggu siklus hormon wanita. Padahal, kanker payudara berhubungan erat dengan masalah hormon. Karena itulah, banyak penelitian dilakukan untuk melihat keterkaitan keduanya. Namun, belum ada bukti bahwa aborsi memengaruhi kanker payudara.

 sumber : http://life.viva.co.id